Slarti Bartfast Presently

[Slarti Bartfast]

Slarti rode into the Colored Forest after hearing of some good fishing. He came upon a village around a lake with signs denoting it belonged to CrimsonBeasts.

Sure hope they're friendly.

He pulled around by a house where he ran into an old companion, Guymov, who had now joined the CrimsonBeasts by the look of it. "Good to see you!" said Slarti. "Here's some beer." This was how Slarti usually did things.

Guymov returned the greeting followed by an update, "A new guild, a location, a new adventure."

"Welp... it's really nice here. Mind if I do some fishing?" asked Slarti. Guymov nodded in approval. "Thanks!" said Slarti and proceeded to fish the day away in the lake. As the sun neared the top of the sky, Slarti heard some weapons being unsheathed inside the fishing house behind him where he'd left his horse and cougar. He wandered around and into the house to find two more members of CrimsonBeasts, Qnulss and Luluptitepu they identified themselves as Slarti shared his name and reason for being there.

At first they seemed friendly, but Slarti had difficulty understanding them due to a language barrier and accents. Then, without warning, Qnulss drew his sword and begin hacking at Slarti. Luluptitepu slammed the door shut and they both beat Slarti to a bloody pulp followed by horse and cougar. Slarti rezzed at the nearby priest and walked back to where he had been murdered as the two stepped out of the house and met a third in another. Slarti stormed in hollering about how he'd shown nothing but kindness and had been granted permission by an old friend their ranks when they again slaughtered him without an reservation. This happened once more and then Slarti could no longer use the priest in that area. Dismayed, he floated back to Meduli in spirit form and sucked in the air.

"Last time I give any CrimsonBeasts free beer. Guymov's new guild are sure mean."

 

[Slarti Bartfast]

After a few moments in Meduli and getting his armor back in order, Slarti his heard his name being called. It was Qnuss! "Slarti. Yeah. That is a guild spot. It it not for others to fish." he said flatly but firmly.

"Understood," said Slarti. "I won't be by anymore."

"Well then... good luck to you," said Qnuss.

"Aye... and good luck to you," said Slarti.

At least he was polite I suppose. Still, there was a chance for beer to flow through the Colored Forest and into their town, but they have chosen selfishness and xenophobia. Must've been something pricey in that lake that I don' t know about or how to even fish out. Slarti chuckled to himself. Who knew that fishing the endless bounty of Myrland's lakes and rivers could get you killed. Back to Meduli.

 

[Slarti Bartfast]

Slarti stopped by the post after he grabbed some new bags and magic reagents. The postperson handed him a single envelope with a message along with several gold for his beer sales. He pocketed the beer sales and ripped open the envelope. It wasn't often that he got correspondence, usually only payment.

Slarti,

The guys who killed you are very sorry, they didn't know about our friendship.

- Guymov

Slarti sat down and pondered.

The short but meaningful condolences of a warrior. So many times in this crazy world of Nave do we find ourselves the victim of circumstance, in this case the circumstance of allies of an ally not knowing I'm an ally. Not the first time it's happened and likely not the last. At least now, I know that I can bring more beer that way and can expect a friendlier reception next time. There's so little time for words in the world of Nave.

 

[Slarti Bartfast]

As Slarti reached the outskirts of Meduli, he breathed a sigh of relief. He was carrying far more beer than normal as Meduli and Vadda had drank absolutely every drop of the last delivery. Halfway through his exhale, a cloud of dust appeared between the houses that he was approaching. Then seven to eight riders in full armor burst through into view.

"Oh shit!" Slarti veered hard left and cracked the reigns hoping that the party would see he was actively trying to avoid confrontation. Alas, this only caused them to break course and veer toward him. Seeing no way around, Slarti pulled tight on the reigns and ordered his horse to stop dead. The riders thundered up to him and then veered around him laughing and chuckling.

"Slarti!" one of them yelled as they passed. It was just a KotO patrol.

Whew... that could have went waaaay worse.

 

[Slarti Bartfast]

Slarti was enjoying a beautiful day fishing in the pond just outside of Tindrem Garden Gate and down the hill. Suddenly, a few flakes of snow began to fall.

What th...? At least it is kinda pretty.

A minute later he couldn't see the end of his rod and found himself in a blizzard.

Sundamned elementalists.

He stashed his fishing pole and returned to his mount to ride back into Tindrem for the evening and fall asleep by a fire.

 

[Slarti Bartfast]

Hammers a message to the Tindrem message board.

Let it be known that a one PSILOCYBE seeks to impede harvesting, commerce, and ultimately and most unfortunately beer from being safely transported in West Myrland. If yeh beh a merchant, keep yer distance. If yeh be a fighter, please consider bullying this fella outta Tindrem range.

Thanks
- Slarti Bartfast

 

[Slarti Bartfast]

"Hey, little man!"

Slarti grimaced. That had to be... yep...

"Have you forgotten your older brother?

Slarti avoided eye contact for a moment and then met the gaze of the speaker, his adopted-brother and senior by 3 years.

"Brother!" sputtered Slarti weakly as Martilus enveloped him in massive bear hug.

Martilus was better at just about everything than Slarti in every way, except making beer. That remained Slarti's forte. Martilus was born of pure Tindremene blood, unlike Slarti, as he was adopted by Slarti's mother after the Conflux while she was pregnant with Slarti. As he was not of her blood, he was spared the shame when she (and thus Slarti) was ousted as a part-Kallard.

Martilus grabbed Slarti and noogied his head while laughing a deep, guttural guffaw. He was nearly two heads taller than his adopted brother and quite muscular. Slarti hated being always second-call-to-help when mother needed something, but Martilus was superior to Slarti in so many ways that it just made sense.

Back to living my life in the shadow of my brother.

Slarti sighed, resigned. Though for how much Slarti hated living in his brother's shadow, he also benefitted from it. He couldn't count the times that Martilus had come to his defense to the local bullies when they were young. He couldn't count the times when meat supplies were running low that Martilus was sent out to gather rather than him.

That's fine. He loves me, too, and shows it again and again.

Martilus had been a staunch supporter of his adopted brother, even in the worst of times when Slarti and his mother faced exile for their Kathard lineaage.

And he knows how to make some killer armor.

Martilus studied the blade and armor while Slarti studied magic.

"Look at what your'e wearing! We gotta get you set up, lil bro!" guffawed Martilus.

Wonder if he'll be interested in helping the Brewery.

(( Welcome my alt, Martilus, to the fold! ))

 

[Slarti Bartfast]

Slarti muttered to himself as he walked up to the Fabernum town board.

"So many needlessly violent sonsofbitches. That could have been handled with words and payment. Hell... we could have drank together... on the house for them. Such is the lot of the shortsighted of Myrland. I'll not be sharing any draught with them by choice."

He nailed his message to the board.

I put forth the effort to kill a bear that had ransacked a campsite. It was quite a fight. It finally dies and I return to investigate the campsite. These two knuckleheads are there and tell me they wanted to tame the bear and proceed to slaughter me, my horse, and my cougar. I am but a simple merchant and committed no crime. Please law abiding badasses, I implore. Help keep the land safe from these two murderers that would kill the proprietor that brings so much beer and joy to West Myrland. Teach them a lesson! Then teach them again!I Kill Velarian and Jiga for their transgression! An eye for an eye, a beer for a beer! -Slarti Bartfast

 

[Slarti Bartfast]

Hollers in Meduli center, "Let it be known that ZacharyGamble, Aidar, and their accomplices are criminal scum that attacked me unprovoked as I wandered just outside of Meduli to the southeast. I was waving hello to ZacharyGamble when he smashed his lance into me. Unfortunatley for them, my horse was faster. Get dead criminal scum!"

 

[Slarti Bartfast]

Nails a note to the Tindrem message board.

Cadix has made a second or third attempt on my life, this time as I gathered spelt just outside of Tindrem by the guard tower. He had accomplices with him by the names of Danfouse and Resiste. End the attempted terror (they failed despite unleasing all of their might on me and my pets at once) of this Cadix that would deny beer to the good, law-abiding citizens of West Myralnd, and kill his acccomplices should you see them. Let them know that Slarti Bartfast should not be their target!

- Slarti Bartfast

 

[Slarti Bartfast]

Slarti drunkenly poked through his bank bag. Suddenly, a figure appeared behind him holding up an entire wardrope on a coathanger! It was Goldsworth. Slarti reached out and received the Rustic Garments made of Crustacean and Guard Fur. He gave a six pack to the benefactor and then tried on the garments only to find that he was weighed down! They were two heavy for his petite frame!

The benefactor did not falter, however, and returned with an entire new set of Rustic Garments of Crustacean and Silk, Slarti's exact weight class! Slarti tried to return the guard fur garments but was denied. With little recourse, he shared another six pack with the crafter in pure thankfulness. This new set of duds topped what his brother Martilus had just learned to make! The Rustic Garments were of higher quality than Ranger Armor.

"I must tell Martilus to see if he can find the pattern for these marvelous clothes," said Slarti as he strutted around Meduli.

 

[Slarti Bartfast]

Nails a message to the Tindrem board, this time accompanied by a crude sketch.

This bastard named Knulss road up on me during my ride from Meduil to Tindrem, just south of the Orchard. I hopped off my horse and offered him a beer. He hopped off his horse and said "Como?" and then slashed in my chest. I of course quickly vacated and he chased but was distracted by my cougar in the end, slaughtering it and telling himself he was a big boy. Kill Knulss the criminal for attempting to interfere with the business of Bartfast Brewery!

 

[Slarti Bartfast]

Find himself at the Tindrem message board once again. West Myrland is ridden with crime right now.

The matter has become much more serious. These losers have nothing better to do than ride by the spelt farming outside of Tindrem by the back gate and kill me for spite. I have nothing of value. The spelt I carry is neglible. They simply want to disrupt commerce.

Badass and righteous fighers of West Myrland... I call upon you to hunt them down at every turn. I bear no ill will and only seek to distribute alcohol across Myrland, but they've made it their petty business to interrupt this. Make them pay until they recant and leave me be to harvest! Harvest the heads of Cadix, Psoriasis, Verrue, and Danfousse!

 

[Slarti Bartfast]

Again... Cadix and crew right out front of Tindrem as I gathered karaton. Are there no honorable guilds around Tindrem that will put a stop to this? My beer production is being seriously slowed. End Cadix and his crew of disreputes, or you may find yourself vacant of beer in the near future. (( They had the decency to leave most of my armor this time... though they took my hat.. which makes me thing they might be in alliance with Chipmunk. My cougar also lived, though I tend to think that was probably due to a z axis bug. ))

 

[Slarti Bartfast]

Bartfast Brewery has always been known for the best beer in Myrland. Now Slarti brings you the next big thing in beverages... LIQUOR! Bartfast Brewery is now Bartfast Brewery & Distillery!

Liquor is far more potent statwise than most beer, but Slarti's new price system ensures that beer remains the most economical option for your resource needs. Liquor provides a nice mid point between beer and roasted grain statwise but is far more economical than roasted grain due to Slarti's carefully planned pricing. See the pic for the new broker beverage list and follow the URL there to see the full menu, research, and pricing explanation.

Don't forget to stop by the physical Bartfast Brewery & Distillery location to pick up some free samples, food, and armor from the access chests with the password "sample"!

Grand reopening! Liquor and beer is in the Brewery and on the broker in Tindrem and Meduli! Fab, Vadda, Hyllspeia, and the East, I'm coming as soon as I can! The new liquor can be found on the broker under the word "ferment". Just look for Slarti's name. You can also still find my beer with the search term "beer".