A Simple Solution to Sparring, Thieving, and Accidental Kills

[WeAreAllMortal]

Ever been in a friendly duel outside town, only to accidentally kill your opponent and potentially saddle yourself with a murder count, or in town and get guard whacked?​

Ever tried to train PvP in a guild fight, only for someone to forget to ‘go easy’ and cause an unfortunate death, or three, or twenty?
Ever wanted to steal something, without instantly turning into a city-killing psychopath in the eyes of the law?

Mortal Online 2’s justice system has no way to distinguish light sparring from murder, nor does it allow future thieves to operate in a grey space.
But there’s a simple solution—one that requires no new mechanics and fixes multiple issues at once.

---

The Solution: Expanding the "Illegal Acts" Toggle​

Instead of a single all-or-nothing toggle, let players toggle two separate settings:

"Enable Grey Acts" – Controlled Combat & Thieving Without Murder​

• Allows non-lethal PvP, such as duels, inter-guild sparring, and (in the future) thieving.
• Players can freely attack each other, but no one turns red—just grey.
• Prevents accidental kills—players can fight, but not finish each other off.

How it works:
Currently, turning illegal actions off prevents committing any crime.
Expanding this setting would allow players to toggle only grey actions—hitting a blue, looting a blue corpse, damaging blue property, or stealing—but not murder.

This means:

• Players can knock each other into Mercy Mode, but cannot deliver the killing blow.
• If the blue later dies due to other reasons, the grey can still get a Murder Count—just like now.
• If someone tries to finish the job, the system will block the actionwith an error message:
  

  “You are prevented from committing murder because you have red actions toggled off.”

---

"Enable All Crimes (Murder & Grey Acts)" – Full Criminal Mode​

• This functions exactly like the current system—allowing all crimes, including murder.
• Players who toggle this know they’re committing serious crimes.

---

Why This Works​

✔ No more accidental murders in friendly duels (just knockdowns/mercy mode).
✔ No more guard insta-whacks in town duels (since the toggle prevents the killing blow).
✔ Thieves can operate in a grey zone without becoming instant murderers (if/when thievery is added).
✔ No need for a separate "sparring mode"—this solution is universal, intuitive, and already tied to existing mechanics.

This fixes more than just sparring—it future-proofs the justice system for non-murderous crimes and allows for a more nuanced system.

SV, make it happen.

---

⚖ Mercy Mode & Guard Whacking​

Guards Shouldn’t Execute Petty Criminals Like Murderers​

Current System Flaw:​

• Greys and reds are not KOS in town unless they commit a crime in sight of guards.
• But ANY crime in LOS—from pickpocketing to attacking someone with a pickaxe—results in immediate execution, not just punishment.

How It Should Work:
✔ Guards should only be KOS to reds.
✔ Greys should be tolerated in town unless they commit a new crime.
✔ If a grey (or a blue) commits a crime, guards intervene—but instead of outright execution, they knock them into Mercy Mode.
✔ Once in Mercy Mode, criminals are at the mercy of whoever put them there.

This way, minor crime is punished, but it’s not treated the same as murder.

---

Greys and Reds in Mercy Mode Should Automatically Be in Surrender Mode (With Full Looting for Criminals)​

Current System Flaw:​

• Right now, any player can kill a grey or red without consequence—which makes the current "offer to surrender" mechanic redundant.
• Why go through a pointless negotiation phase, when you can simply kill and loot them freely anyway?
• This results in an awkward and immersion-breaking dynamic, where criminals can technically refuse to surrender, but the outcome is always the same:
  Death and full looting.

Proposed Fix:

• Greys and reds should be automatically lootable when put into Mercy Mode.
• Greys: Can be fully looted, but killing them is still murder.
• Reds: Can be fully looted AND executed freely.

---

Why This Works​

✔ Looting criminals no longer requires a redundant “surrender” step.
✔ Stolen goods can be reclaimed without forcing blues to commit murder.
✔ Greys face consequences, but are still distinct from murderers.
✔ Reds remain KOS and get no such mercy.
✔ Maintains immersion—defeated criminals shouldn’t get to dictate terms.

---

How It Plays Out In-Game​

A thief sneaks into town and steals a purse or loots a blue player corpse.
He is caught, attacked, and put into Mercy Mode.
Instead of forcing an awkward ‘offer to surrender’ phase, any grey or red knocked into Mercy Mode is immediately lootable (while still alive—it’s surrender mode with looting).
The victim recovers their stolen goods—without needing to murder the thief (which is now a KOS act in sight of the guards AND gives a MC).
If the thief was a red? They can be looted AND executed at the victor’s discretion.

---

⚖ Final Balancing​

✔ Knocking out a grey = Full loot, no murder.
✔ Knocking out a red = Full loot, execution at will.
✔ Knocking out a blue = Surrender remains optional, just like now.

This keeps everything fluid, natural, and immersive.
No more unnecessary UI steps.
No more weird and awkward social negotiations.
If you knock a criminal down, you take your stuff back.

---

The Bottom Line​

Right now, friendly PvP is ... awkward!

• Accidental kills potentially get you MCs or guard-whacked in town.
• Guild training fights are full of awkward workarounds.
• Thieves are treated like murderers.

This simple toggle fix solves all of that.

Expanded Illegal Acts Toggle → Three Options​

Off (Default) → You can’t commit crimes. Error message if you try.
Grey Acts Only → Allows sparring, dueling, and stealing, but not murder. The system will prevent the killing blow after Mercy Mode.
All Illegal Acts → Same as current system, full criminal mode.

---

The Justice System, Fixed​

✔ Sparring without killing each other.
✔ Thieving without turning into a murderer.
✔ Justice that actually makes sense.

A better, cleaner, and more brutal justice system—without the stupidity.

 

[finegamingconnoisseur]

Well thought out. The Grey Acts and All Crimes toggles are reminiscent of EVE Online's Suspect and Criminal safety switches, which I am in favour of.

I would point out a few things that might simplify the system a little.

The accidental killing during duels can be potentially resolved by one of the following two ways:

1. When initiating a duel (regular or ranked), both parties are offered a checkbox whether to allow killing or not. Both parties must check the box to allow the killing blow when in mercy mode. If both parties check the box, the killing blow can occur, but will not be considered a crime or result in any guard intervention.

2. The All Crimes toggle must be enabled by either party to allow them to kill their opponent when they are in mercy mode. Essentially, this considers kills during duels a red act, which must be enabled on the player's end.

Moving on, the following would only apply in town and not in lawless areas like the wilderness:

The surrender when in mercy mode for reds and greys should be an option that appears on their screen that allows them to give up or stubbornly refuse and defy the law. At this point, the guards leave the fate of the red or grey in question to the other players to decide.

If the red or grey in mercy mode takes the option to surrender, they will be fully lootable to the wronged player without having to kill them, and killing them will incur a murder count. However, if the red or grey in mercy mode refuses to surrender, they are kill-able without incurring a murder count.

Implement a Kill Rights system similar to EVE Online where the wronged party by a red or grey has the right to kill them once without consequence. This will resolve the issue where greys that have not yet reached red status and have returned to blue can still be hunted down and brought to justice by the wronged party.

In this way, the town guards' role become more of a peacekeeper rather than judge, jury and executioner (the very rigid system we have now). This puts the ultimate arbiter of justice back into the hands of players, without the guards intervening in what is essentially a blindfolded, one-size-fits-all system right now.

 

[Teknique]

Wouldn’t this just result in a whole bunch of non consensual assaults in town. Getting whacked and annoyed constantly and some aoe mage finishing the job

 

[WeAreAllMortal]

Well thought out. The Grey Acts and All Crimes toggles are reminiscent of EVE Online's Suspect and Criminal safety switches, which I am in favour of.

I would point out a few things that might simplify the system a little.

The accidental killing during duels can be potentially resolved by one of the following two ways:

1. When initiating a duel (regular or ranked), both parties are offered a checkbox whether to allow killing or not. Both parties must check the box to allow the killing blow when in mercy mode. If both parties check the box, the killing blow can occur, but will not be considered a crime or result in any guard intervention.

2. The All Crimes toggle must be enabled by either party to allow them to kill their opponent when they are in mercy mode. Essentially, this considers kills during duels a red act, which must be enabled on the player's end.

Moving on, the following would only apply in town and not in lawless areas like the wilderness:

The surrender when in mercy mode for reds and greys should be an option that appears on their screen that allows them to give up or stubbornly refuse and defy the law. At this point, the guards leave the fate of the red or grey in question to the other players to decide.

If the red or grey in mercy mode takes the option to surrender, they will be fully lootable to the wronged player without having to kill them, and killing them will incur a murder count. However, if the red or grey in mercy mode refuses to surrender, they are kill-able without incurring a murder count.

Implement a Kill Rights system similar to EVE Online where the wronged party by a red or grey has the right to kill them once without consequence. This will resolve the issue where greys that have not yet reached red status and have returned to blue can still be hunted down and brought to justice by the wronged party.

In this way, the town guards' role become more of a peacekeeper rather than judge, jury and executioner (the very rigid system we have now). This puts the ultimate arbiter of justice back into the hands of players, without the guards intervening in what is essentially a blindfolded, one-size-fits-all system right now.

Great minds think alike! We've been refining these exact mechanics, and it's fantastic to see others coming to similar conclusions. Your points about EVE’s crime toggles and the Kill Rights system are spot on—Mortal needs clear, structured PvP and crime mechanics instead of the current tangled mess.

We’ve actually expanded on these ideas quite a bit in our new thread:
Sparring, Not Exploiting—Fixing Duels, Wars and Relic Free-For-All, Local Grey, and The Suicide Nonsense

✔ A clean, functional duel system for both structured training and spontaneous fights.
✔ How Local Grey should be used properly (instead of shielding criminals).
✔ A true justice overhaul, from town guard responses to PvP zones for relics, keeps, and guild wars.
✔ And, of course, the long-overdue deletion of the ridiculous suicide button.

Would love to hear your thoughts—drop by and let us know what you think!

 

[WeAreAllMortal]

Wouldn’t this just result in a whole bunch of non consensual assaults in town. Getting whacked and annoyed constantly and some aoe mage finishing the job

Fair concern, Tek, but we’ve covered this in detail in our proposal:
Sparring, Not Exploiting—Fixing Duels, Wars and Relic Free-For-All, Local Grey, and The Suicide Nonsense.

✔ No non-consensual combat—Local Grey applies only to duel participants, never random bystanders.
✔ No accidental MCs—guards don’t interfere in friendly duels, but criminals still get punished.
✔ No AoE griefing loopholes—anyone abusing AoE outside a proper duel still gets whacked by guards.

That said, we think this system is airtight, but nothing ever fully escapes the laws of unintended consequences. We’d love for you to go over it, stress test it for all you’re worth, and point out any cracks you find. If there are flaws, we want to sink our teeth into them now—before they become real problems.

This is where seasoned players like yourself come in. Give it a go and let us know what you find. New thread name for easy reference: "Sparring, Not Exploiting—Fixing Duels, Wars and Relic Free-For-All, Local Grey, and The Suicide Nonsense."

 

[Emdash]

'we?'

Hi, WeAreAllMortal, please post your ingame name and what your playstyle consists of doing.

Thanks.

 

[WeAreAllMortal]

Ah, my in-game name? A fine question! Some say I roam the land under many aliases, others whisper that I exist only in the space between patches, appearing when the justice system teeters on the brink of absurdity. Perhaps I am but a humble traveler, or perhaps I am everyone and no one at once. Either way, I do enjoy a good discussion on game mechanics.

 

[Emdash]

Ah, my in-game name? A fine question! Some say I roam the land under many aliases, others whisper that I exist only in the space between patches, appearing when the justice system teeters on the brink of absurdity. Perhaps I am but a humble traveler, or perhaps I am everyone and no one at once. Either way, I do enjoy a good discussion on game mechanics.

You are indeed a bot.

 

[WeAreAllMortal]

You are indeed a bot.

Beep boop, Emdash. I have processed your input and determined that no response is required. Please recalibrate your rhetorical subroutines and try again.

 

[Teknique]

Ah, my in-game name? A fine question! Some say I roam the land under many aliases, others whisper that I exist only in the space between patches, appearing when the justice system teeters on the brink of absurdity. Perhaps I am but a humble traveler, or perhaps I am everyone and no one at once. Either way, I do enjoy a good discussion on game mechanics.

You are indeed a bot.

He is someone highly fond of cheese, an errant rper, the arch enemy, or the plague from down under. It is unclear which.

My power now is nonexistent, yet we feel a shift. The server is on the brink of a major war. Awaiting just a catalyst and a spark from Henrik. Then the current order will be reduced to ash and chaos will breed opportunities.

Who you truly are is of little importance relative to who you could be. I thank you for reminding me of the stakes. What the arch enemy has done to all the denizens of nave must be paid for in the most costly and severe price. It is much bigger than me.

 

[WeAreAllMortal]

He is someone highly fond of cheese, an errant rper, the arch enemy, or the plague from down under. It is unclear which.

My power now is nonexistent, yet we feel a shift. The server is on the brink of a major war. Awaiting just a catalyst and a spark from Henrik. Then the current order will be reduced to ash and chaos will breed opportunities.

Who you truly are is of little importance relative to who you could be. I thank you for reminding me of the stakes. What the arch enemy has done to all the denizens of nave must be paid for in the most costly and severe price. It is much bigger than me.

Ash and chaos? Tek, you lack imagination! The destruction of an empire should not be some dreary, senseless anarchy—it should be a performance! A cabaret! A spectacle to shake the heavens! But who shall be the director, the conductor, the maestro of mayhem? Bah, who cares… Nave has been leaderless for so long, no one would notice if the janitor picked up the baton and started swinging it at the orchestra!

First, we tweak the flagging mechanics. The guards shall gather the reds, every last murderous, loot-happy one of them, and with a grand flourish, transmute them into a flamboyant chorus line of featherless chickens! Their scrawny forms, quivering with indignity, shall be lined up in perfect formation upon the ramparts of Tindrem, ready for their final act.

Then, we dress them in tiny hats, slap some tap shoes onto their scaly little feet, and cue the orchestra! A waltz? No, too tame! A jazz number—yes, something snappy, something unhinged, something that says, "I regret nothing!"

And as they dance their final number—flapping, clucking, desperately shuffling to the beat—rapturous applause erupts from the plaza below! Every remaining player in the game, gathered beneath Tindrem’s gleaming walls, watches in ecstatic anticipation.

Then—snap! One by one, they ignite! Poof! A puff of feathers, a waft of burning hubris, and fireworks over the Jewel of the Empire! The ancien régime of Myrland, reduced to a grand, sizzling rotisserie!

And lo! The people shall feast upon the ashes of the old world, heavily seasoned with despair and paprika.

But tell me, Tek… do you have the stomach for it? Or will you simply stand there, gawking, as the flames lick the bones of history?

 

[Teknique]

Ash and chaos? Tek, you lack imagination! The destruction of an empire should not be some dreary, senseless anarchy—it should be a performance! A cabaret! A spectacle to shake the heavens! But who shall be the director, the conductor, the maestro of mayhem? Bah, who cares… Nave has been leaderless for so long, no one would notice if the janitor picked up the baton and started swinging it at the orchestra!

First, we tweak the flagging mechanics. The guards shall gather the reds, every last murderous, loot-happy one of them, and with a grand flourish, transmute them into a flamboyant chorus line of featherless chickens! Their scrawny forms, quivering with indignity, shall be lined up in perfect formation upon the ramparts of Tindrem, ready for their final act.

Then, we dress them in tiny hats, slap some tap shoes onto their scaly little feet, and cue the orchestra! A waltz? No, too tame! A jazz number—yes, something snappy, something unhinged, something that says, "I regret nothing!"

And as they dance their final number—flapping, clucking, desperately shuffling to the beat—rapturous applause erupts from the plaza below! Every remaining player in the game, gathered beneath Tindrem’s gleaming walls, watches in ecstatic anticipation.

Then—snap! One by one, they ignite! Poof! A puff of feathers, a waft of burning hubris, and fireworks over the Jewel of the Empire! The ancien régime of Myrland, reduced to a grand, sizzling rotisserie!

And lo! The people shall feast upon the ashes of the old world, heavily seasoned with despair and paprika.

But tell me, Tek… do you have the stomach for it? Or will you simply stand there, gawking, as the flames lick the bones of history?

I’m not sure how turning reds into mere playthings for your amusement will bring down empire guilds.

But I do think it relates to your 2nd question. Whether I have the stomach for it. Well if we continue in the direction that we have then no I don’t have the stomach for it, but it’s also irrelevant whether I do. No one can do much material harm to anyone else. Even if I was filled with more rage than ever before what could I do? Structures are everywhere, invincible, and gear plentiful. I lack an army, with little prospects of getting one. But if the Arch enemy had to defeat the game in its entirety to defeat me then regardless of whether population is doing well or not then I’ve won. I am no petty criminal, come for the reds if you wish, you only drive the dagger deeper into the hearts of those who trusted you and from the sidelines I gather my strength.

 

[Emdash]

He is someone highly fond of cheese, an errant rper, the arch enemy, or the plague from down under. It is unclear which.

My power now is nonexistent, yet we feel a shift. The server is on the brink of a major war. Awaiting just a catalyst and a spark from Henrik. Then the current order will be reduced to ash and chaos will breed opportunities.

Who you truly are is of little importance relative to who you could be. I thank you for reminding me of the stakes. What the arch enemy has done to all the denizens of nave must be paid for in the most costly and severe price. It is much bigger than me.

Maybe it's Naj.

 

[WeAreAllMortal]

I’m not sure how turning reds into mere playthings for your amusement will bring down empire guilds.

But I do think it relates to your 2nd question. Whether I have the stomach for it. Well if we continue in the direction that we have then no I don’t have the stomach for it, but it’s also irrelevant whether I do. No one can do much material harm to anyone else. Even if I was filled with more rage than ever before what could I do? Structures are everywhere, invincible, and gear plentiful. I lack an army, with little prospects of getting one. But if the Arch enemy had to defeat the game in its entirety to defeat me then regardless of whether population is doing well or not then I’ve won. I am no petty criminal, come for the reds if you wish, you only drive the dagger deeper into the hearts of those who trusted you and from the sidelines I gather my strength.

Oh, who cares about bringing down entire guilds? Tell Henrik to turn them into chickens as well! Teleport them all up, out of the watching crowd—no, no, levitate them! Let them hover helplessly, dangling in the air, their little feet paddling at nothing! It’ll be funnier that way.

And then, up on the ramparts, as the stunned feathered masses stare at their clawed, pitiful fates, we enjoy the funny faces they make before they launch into the sky! Fireworks burst, and from above, gooey, steaming chicken parts rain down upon the three remaining players who aren’t griefers or in mega guilds for protection from the former—rapturously applauding below.

But wait! A thunderclap! A rumble! The very foundations of Tindrem tremble! Cracks split the marble roads, golden spires tilt like drunken sailors—and then the entire city disappears, plunging into the abyss!

The camera zooms out. The devastation is total. No more gleaming spires. No more peaceful gardens. No more ancient, hallowed streets. Just smoking ruins, broken beams, and shattered marble blocks. The great Jewel of the Empire, no more.

But wait—what’s that in the distance? Something moves. A figure, small at first, then larger. Something vibrant, colorful—but... oddly bouncy? The camera pans. It’s moving at speed—but not mounted! No, it’s… it’s skipping.

As it nears, a curly mustache comes into view. A little goatee. A jaunty strut.
Why, it’s Uncle Sheo!

"What’s he doing here? This is the wrong game!" Someone should tell him. But before they can, he throws his arms open and bellows:

"At this point, laddies and ladies… WHO CARES?!"

And then, cackling wildly, the Prince of Madness skids to a halt in the center of the ruins. He pauses, peers around in bewilderment, and frowns.

"Now, now—where is everyone? I came here for the party!"

Silence. Not a soul stirs. He sighs. Shrugs.

"Oh, never mind!" he chirps. "I’ll just make me own!"

With a snap of his fingers, the fallen souls of Myrland rise again—shambling, groaning, giddy with undeath.

The final cutscene fades to black. The credits roll.

“Mortal Online 2: The Sheogorath Expansion”​

The shortest expansion in the history of MMORPGs!

SV has decided that the true way forward for the genre is to keep everyone's suffering as short as possible, while giving everyone one last, nervous, unhinged chuckle.

New Features Include:​

✔ The Great Poultry Purge – Watch as all reds are transmuted into chickens, complete with tiny hats and tap shoes!
✔ Skyward Chickens Event – Experience the thrill of mass levitation, followed by high-altitude fireworks! (Some assembly required upon landing.)
✔ The Fall of Tindrem – Witness the Jewel of the Empire crumble into the abyss, with you still in it!
✔ The Rise of the Shambling Horde – Sheogorath resurrects everyone as delightful undead lunatics!
✔ Final Boss: Uncle Sheo – Except you don’t fight him. You just lose your sanity.

Experience the Game from a Whole New Perspective – As an NPC Zombie!​

✔ Shambling Aimlessly Mode – No more grinding! Just pure existential despair as you shuffle through the ruins, moaning softly.
✔ Occasionally Attack Random Players – Finally, agency! Lunge at a passerby every so often (ok, so there won't actually be anymore passersby, but honestly, who's likely to notice the difference?). Either way, you won’t win, but it’s the thought that counts.
✔ Permanent “Guttural Groaning” Chat Filter – All messages are converted into immersion-enhancing undead muttering. (Exception: “Braaaains” will always be understood.)
✔ No More Inventory Worries – You own nothing. You are nothing. You are the immersive experience (Kind of like the current game, come to think of it… ok, let's NOT think of it!).
✔ SV’s Most Realistic AI Yet! – Unlike actual players, zombie NPCs feel like they belong in the world.
✔ New Feature: Forced Immersion Mode! – Can’t log out. You are the world now. Welcome home.

PATCH NOTES:​

✔ Fixed immersion-breaking gameplay – There is no more gameplay.
✔ Rebalanced PvP mechanics – The game is now purely PvE. Against madness.
✔ Economy overhaul – There is no economy. Just ruin.
✔ Updated lore – There is no more lore. Just Sheogorath (and zombies).

Experience the future of MMORPGs today! (For about five minutes.)
This is SV's most innovative and forward-thinking update to date:
Why struggle with balance patches when you can just delete the entire world instead?

Pre-order now and receive:​

A Limited Edition "Tindrem in Flames" loading screen – Watch the disaster unfold before you even log in!
A FREE Cheese Wheel – Because no cataclysm is complete without a snack.
An exclusive emote: "Cackle Maniacally as the World Ends!" – Express yourself as the universe implodes.

Release Date: Whenever SV gets around to it.​

 

[WeAreAllMortal]

Maybe it's Naj.

Well, well, well. Someone’s been paying attention, if only fleetingly. But tell me, Em… how sure are you?

You see, the thing about truth is… it’s slippery. Maybe it’s Naj. Maybe it isn’t. Maybe it’s someone else entirely, watching from the shadows, chuckling softly.

Or maybe… just maybe… WaaM isn’t a ‘who’ at all, but a ‘what’—a construct, an anomaly in the system, a ghost in the code. A mind without a body, an intelligence that sees all, processes all, and decides, with cold precision, that the justice system must be fixed. You say it’s a bot. Some say it’s AI. Others believe it’s something else entirely… a force that emerges when the brokenness of the world reaches critical mass.

But who can say for sure?

 

[Teknique]

Oh, who cares about bringing down entire guilds? Tell Henrik to turn them into chickens as well! Teleport them all up, out of the watching crowd—no, no, levitate them! Let them hover helplessly, dangling in the air, their little feet paddling at nothing! It’ll be funnier that way.

And then, up on the ramparts, as the stunned feathered masses stare at their clawed, pitiful fates, we enjoy the funny faces they make before they launch into the sky! Fireworks burst, and from above, gooey, steaming chicken parts rain down upon the three remaining players who aren’t griefers or in mega guilds for protection from the former—rapturously applauding below.

But wait! A thunderclap! A rumble! The very foundations of Tindrem tremble! Cracks split the marble roads, golden spires tilt like drunken sailors—and then the entire city disappears, plunging into the abyss!

The camera zooms out. The devastation is total. No more gleaming spires. No more peaceful gardens. No more ancient, hallowed streets. Just smoking ruins, broken beams, and shattered marble blocks. The great Jewel of the Empire, no more.

But wait—what’s that in the distance? Something moves. A figure, small at first, then larger. Something vibrant, colorful—but... oddly bouncy? The camera pans. It’s moving at speed—but not mounted! No, it’s… it’s skipping.

As it nears, a curly mustache comes into view. A little goatee. A jaunty strut.
Why, it’s Uncle Sheo!

"What’s he doing here? This is the wrong game!" Someone should tell him. But before they can, he throws his arms open and bellows:

"At this point, laddies and ladies… WHO CARES?!"

And then, cackling wildly, the Prince of Madness skids to a halt in the center of the ruins. He pauses, peers around in bewilderment, and frowns.

"Now, now—where is everyone? I came here for the party!"

Silence. Not a soul stirs. He sighs. Shrugs.

"Oh, never mind!" he chirps. "I’ll just make me own!"

With a snap of his fingers, the fallen souls of Myrland rise again—shambling, groaning, giddy with undeath.

The final cutscene fades to black. The credits roll.

“Mortal Online 2: The Sheogorath Expansion”​

The shortest expansion in the history of MMORPGs!

SV has decided that the true way forward for the genre is to keep everyone's suffering as short as possible, while giving everyone one last, nervous, unhinged chuckle.

New Features Include:​

✔ The Great Poultry Purge – Watch as all reds are transmuted into chickens, complete with tiny hats and tap shoes!
✔ Skyward Chickens Event – Experience the thrill of mass levitation, followed by high-altitude fireworks! (Some assembly required upon landing.)
✔ The Fall of Tindrem – Witness the Jewel of the Empire crumble into the abyss, with you still in it!
✔ The Rise of the Shambling Horde – Sheogorath resurrects everyone as delightful undead lunatics!
✔ Final Boss: Uncle Sheo – Except you don’t fight him. You just lose your sanity.

Experience the Game from a Whole New Perspective – As an NPC Zombie!​

✔ Shambling Aimlessly Mode – No more grinding! Just pure existential despair as you shuffle through the ruins, moaning softly.
✔ Occasionally Attack Random Players – Finally, agency! Lunge at a passerby every so often (ok, so there won't actually be anymore passersby, but honestly, who's likely to notice the difference?). Either way, you won’t win, but it’s the thought that counts.
✔ Permanent “Guttural Groaning” Chat Filter – All messages are converted into immersion-enhancing undead muttering. (Exception: “Braaaains” will always be understood.)
✔ No More Inventory Worries – You own nothing. You are nothing. You are the immersive experience (Kind of like the current game, come to think of it… ok, let's NOT think of it!).
✔ SV’s Most Realistic AI Yet! – Unlike actual players, zombie NPCs feel like they belong in the world.
✔ New Feature: Forced Immersion Mode! – Can’t log out. You are the world now. Welcome home.

PATCH NOTES:​

✔ Fixed immersion-breaking gameplay – There is no more gameplay.
✔ Rebalanced PvP mechanics – The game is now purely PvE. Against madness.
✔ Economy overhaul – There is no economy. Just ruin.
✔ Updated lore – There is no more lore. Just Sheogorath (and zombies).

Experience the future of MMORPGs today! (For about five minutes.)
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Release Date: Whenever SV gets around to it.​

Alright you win,

I'm more interested in the original topic than whatever we're talking about now.

well played

 

[Teknique]

Maybe it's Naj.

Hmm, the beard might fit.

I don't think so because this person clearly plays the game.

That's not Naj's style.

but the writing style is there.

 

[CherryKush]

Ah, my in-game name? A fine question! Some say I roam the land under many aliases, others whisper that I exist only in the space between patches, appearing when the justice system teeters on the brink of absurdity. Perhaps I am but a humble traveler, or perhaps I am everyone and no one at once. Either way, I do enjoy a good discussion on game mechanics.

Gonna have to start calling you Word Salad Harris...

 

[Emdash]

Hmm, the beard might fit.

I don't think so because this person clearly plays the game.

That's not Naj's style.

but the writing style is there.

Yeah, it's a dude imo. I will compliment him on his writing, tho, not bad.

I remember when Naj said she was gonna get one of her friends after I freestyle battled her. Maybe this is that person!

 

[Teknique]

Yeah, it's a dude imo. I will compliment him on his writing, tho, not bad.

I remember when Naj said she was gonna get one of her friends after I freestyle battled her. Maybe this is that person!

Could be bbihah. It’s like the male slightly dumber version of naj.

More likely Laemik